Ghosting, at this point, is something everyone knows. It’s a sudden and unexpected way to end a relationship by cutting off all communication (no more responses, messages, or calls). You’ve probably been ghosted or done it yourself, whether it be in a friendship, romantic relationship, family, or even professional setting. The impact of ghosting varies depending on the level of interaction. The stronger the emotional connection, the more deeply the ghosted person is likely to be affected (confusion, misunderstanding, feelings of rejection and/or abandonment, sadness, loss of self-esteem).

Unsurprisingly, this practice causes serious emotional damage. According to several American scientists, ghosting is one of the two most toxic ways to end a relationship. So, what’s the second method, you ask? Drumroll, please, ladies and gentlemen: orbiting. Brace yourself, because we’re about to take the toxicity up a notch.

Is orbiting the new ghosting?

Orbiting means “to orbit around” (like the moon around the earth). This term was coined by Anna Lovine, a New York journalist and expert on 21st-century dating, and should be quickly  added to our modern love vocabulary.

When someone practices orbiting, they ghost you (go radio silent) while still observing you on social media. This “observation” is subtler than haunting (which involves excessive likes and comments) but less discreet than stalking (where the person operates in secret). Orbiting involves never missing any of your Instagram or Snapchat stories, even being the first to view them as soon as they’re posted, and occasionally dropping a like here and there.

A concrete example? Imagine you had plans with your ex to have THE conversation — the one that could’ve changed everything (at least in your dreams) after weeks of ambiguity following your breakup. Your ex set the meeting, but never showed up and didn’t apologize. Instead of communicating, they ghosted you. Yet, a few days later, they resurface with a “like” on your new Facebook profile picture and become your number one fan on all your Instagram stories (just published, and they’ve already viewed them). In real life, they might even ask about you through mutual friends or acquaintances. But despite all of this, they won’t open or respond to your messages. They show they’re connected and following you, but they still won’t communicate! Crazy? Oh yes!

The art of confusion

Why? Simply because orbiting creates even more confusion than ghosting. Ghosting is usually an avoidance strategy: you “play dead,” hoping it’ll all blow over. You make sure not to show any signs that you still exist, and you certainly don’t show any interest in the other person. Orbiting, however, is the complete opposite.

This behavior causes even more frustration for the person on the receiving end and keeps a false sense of hope alive (if they’re watching me and showing it, it must mean I matter). In fact, someone practicing orbiting is often more emotionally attached than they realize. They’re likely nurturing a fantasy (what the relationship could have been, what might have happened between you). But at the same time, they’re incapable (either in the moment or long-term) of investing in the relationship or making any real effort for you.

It can also be a way to keep you on the back burner and remind you of their presence from time to time. In any case, orbiting maintains a sense of ambiguity and prevents you from moving on from the relationship. Plus, it says more about the person doing the orbiting than it does about you. Let’s be honest: it’s an unhealthy and cringeworthy behavior.

Ghosting often reflects a person’s emotional immaturity, a form of cowardice, and an inability to communicate clearly and responsibly. Sometimes people disappear because they’re lost and don’t know what they truly want. Orbiting, on the other hand, adds a much more manipulative and vicious layer to the situation. And if the person denies it, they might have some psychological and relational issues to work through on their own. Meanwhile, you don’t need any of that to move forward with your life. So, cut off this nonsense: Don’t try to understand it, and cut them off completely. 

@arrezoazimzadeh

Lets talk about orbiting! Ive discussed this in the past but I thought id bring it up again to refresh your memories #orbiting #psychology #moderndating #psychologyfacts #fyp #setboundaries #relationships #dating #socialmedia #change

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