Like us, you’ve surely come across the theories of virtual gurus flourishing on Instagram, making you believe that your romantic misfortunes are due to an imbalance of masculine/feminine energy. Hmm… a bit skeptical?We decided to delve into the matter.
First, to believe in – because it is indeed a belief – the concept of masculine/feminine energy, you need to adhere to a certain spirituality, which is very trendy on social media. In fact, it’s so trendy that we are starting to wonder if we are being brainwashed by a kind of proselytism, 2024 style…
At the origin of this trend is Chinese Taoist philosophy, which claims that an imbalance of two elements causes the universe, ourselves, and our relationships to dance a disjointed salsa. In this approach, the universe is a whole, of which we are a part, and a universal law governs the chaos.
The founding principle is Yin-Yang, defined here by the CNRTL as “two opposing and complementary aspects of everything that exists, whose permanent alternation and interaction produce life, forming the great principle of the Universal Order or Tao. Yin corresponds to the earth, the moon, shadow, cold, water, humidity, passivity, and femininity. Yang corresponds to the sun, light, heat, dryness, activity, and masculinity. When united, Yang and Yin are represented by the symbol (…) called Yin-Yang (…).”
The pitfall? Confusing the feminine and masculine genders with feminine and masculine energies. Yet, in the collective unconscious, a totally binary and cliché-ridden vision persists. In this vision, there are, on one hand, men, represented as hunters, managers, performers, strong, protectors. And, on the other hand, women, represented as nurturing, creative, weak, and needing protection.
Taoism challenges these convictions by asserting that everything is driven by a complementary duality, including ourselves, and that the creative and gentle feminine energy and the responsible and performing masculine energy activate according to the contexts within each of us. This is only, however, if we manage to express them in their sacred characteristics and not in their worst traits.
Feminine energy, masculine energy, and gender
Let’s go back to prehistory. During the bison hunt, one had to kill something to eat. And a complete surprise! The major prejudice still circulating that men were hunters while women gathered berries or waited to boil the dead bison is wrong. According to this article, which references a study conducted at the University of California-Davis, prehistoric women also hunted big game. Even more surprising, “the participation of women in big game hunting was normal at that time,” as stated in the article. No quotas, no CSR policies; just women in their masculine energies when needed.
But why, then, in 2024, does it seem to be a problem? Replace the bison with money and consider what we’ve made of gender and its role in forming our society. If a man comes home dejected after a hunt or if a woman proves to be more proficient at hunting than him, there could be an issue. Yes, because he may feel threatened in his masculinity, constructed entirely from cultural expectations of what masculine and feminine should be. If he is a man, he must prove it; ; a woman cannot hunt as well as he does. That’s the idea. A man who cries is similarly associated, wrongly, with a very “feminine” weakness.
Worse, on TikTok, we see young influencers misinterpreting the Taoist theory and encouraging women to become passive objects to attract men. This regressive and reductive approach reflects a patriarchal view dating back only to Ancient Rome, where men were elevated as authorities within the household.
The greeks, the birth of patriarchy, and the masculine gender stereotype
As stated here, it was “in early Greek thought that the emergence of the masculine took place, but it was equated with excellence and perfection.” Wait, it gets worse with the Romans: “With the Romans, the masculine became a person, guaranteed by personal rights. Thus, the pater familias acquired all rights of auctoritas, potestas, and imperium over non-persons (children, women, servants, slaves, incompetents, barbarians…).” The reason? To pass on the name to his descendants and counter predominantly matriarchal societies. This led to a forced denial of the dual energy within every being, restricting each gender to defined and hierarchical roles.
Sacred masculine energy, the opposite of the dominant male…
The stereotype of an authoritarian masculine, attributed to the masculine gender, and sacred masculine energy appear contradictory. In this article, the thesis of an expression of masculine energy at its peak, which would be the opposite of dominant patriarchy, is proposed. Sacred masculinity would recognize and honor femininity and express itself as: “By essence I am, I have nothing to prove, I love myself as I am, I am aligned, and I do my best at every moment, and I am satisfied with it.” Sacred masculinity, we recall, is the domain of both men and women.
The imposter syndrome in women would translate this lack of solid grounding in sacred masculinity, which would imply full confidence, just as a pathological jealousy would be an expression of suffering feminine energy, which can be felt by both men and women. Enlightening.
The sacredness of masculine/feminine energy
In the concept of masculine/feminine energy, each contains bad aspects and sacred characteristics that oppose. Violence and domination for masculine energy, jealousy, and laziness for feminine, among others. Taking possession of the sacred in each would ensure inner harmony first, then relational harmony. In short, it is about harnessing our energies to reach our full potential.
Because a man grounded in his sacred masculine and feminine energies in just proportions would fully possess his feminine energies. And vice versa. This is called balance. The Yin-Yang symbol demonstrates it very simply: to fit perfectly, you need black and white, and a bit of each within the other.
Feminine and masculine energy: The laws of attraction
Taoist philosophy therefore advocates a balance of feminine and masculine energies within oneself to be… aligned (there we go, we’ve become TedX authors in 30 seconds on an iPhone) before seeking to unite with another energy. To avoid making a mistake, one should first observe the chosen one. Are they comfortable with their sacred feminine and masculine energies? Which one predominates, and which one do we also have? In fact, are they balanced? And what do they awaken in us? The good or the bad aspects of my energies?
But, and here’s the catch: we are likely to be attracted to the energy we have in lesser proportion. Thus, if I am a woman in my masculine energy, I would be attracted to a man with a predominant feminine energy and vice versa. In these opposites that attract, the ideal would be to foster the emergence of the sacred in each, thus mutually elevating each other. In clearer terms, both people need to be open to this principle. And therefore, willing to work on themselves to become the most complete versions of themselves.
Thus, attraction and a successful relationship are two different things. Attraction can be based completely on chemistry. However, if the beliefs about gender are not shared, complementary energies can do nothing against what mental constructions, transgenerational inheritances, and societal injunctions will provoke in response in both individuals. The risk? Awakening the worst of feminine and masculine energies in each other.
What about compatibility ?
How do we find harmony in this approach? It’s a virtuous codependency based on each person’s alignment, where energies, thoughts, and values are coherent. Both should be attuned to themselves first before seeking their soulmate (another concept that might be utopian or not, depending on your beliefs). Especially in a two-tiered society where the patriarchal view clashes with a woman claiming her equal place alongside the man. “Know thyself”: the motto inscribed at the entrance of the Temple of Delphi, which Socrates adopted, is apt here.
The result? We would all be bipolar if we believe in this concept where women and men are driven by a masculine/feminine energy to balance. The ideal partner would be the one who constitutes this supreme balance in love, equality, and harmony. A hypothetical but nevertheless interesting vision to explain the inexplicable: the mystery of romantic compatibility.
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Picture (c) : WSG Magazine
